Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Meta-Post: The Power of Mink
A couple of days ago, Sitemeter started showing a spike in folks accessing this blog. Invariably, these folks would be linking to this post. I couldn't figure it out, so I Googled the words "black mink," which I had used for my hyperlink. Under the images returned is the same picture I originally linked to. If you click on the picture provided in Google, however, it takes you to this blog instead of the original photo. Weird. So, to all you unwitting web surfers who have made your way to this site via the power of The Google, I salute you...with a picture of a black mink:
A couple of hypotheticals.
August 19, 2009
Panel 1:Okay, perhaps the JS wasn't breaking new ground in the role of toxic waste in the comic book world. Instead, it was just plain old "vibrations" and gravity doing the good work.
Panel 2:Wow, that round barrel has some serious sharp edges. It appears to have lopped off the top, left quadrant of Percival's head. Poor guy. Looks like he's going to take up architecture or something right-brained from now on.
Panel 3:I like the total lack of affect in Mark's eyes here. It's like he's saying what he thinks people should say when they see a partial decapitation, but he's pretty much feeling empty on the inside.
August 18, 2009
Panel 1:Let's say you're out hunting. Let's say you're sitting in your deer stand and a deer ambles into your range of fire. Do you a) shout out a warning that you're about to shoot at him, or b) silently take aim and pull the trigger? Just saying.
Panel 2:Let's say you're walking through the woods when an escaped convict with a high-powered rifle takes a shot at you. Let's say you ascend a steep cliff to escape the convict and, when standing on the cliff outlined against a bright blue sky, the convict aims his rifle at you again. Do you a) adopt a heroic pose and shout "DUCK!", or b) drop to the ground and keep the lip of the cliff between you and the convict? Just saying.
Panel 3:It's a fairly standard convention of comics, that the evils of toxic waste act through a third party (see e.g., Chemo or Joker). Today, however, the Jackelrod Sphere smashes that convention and actually has the toxic waste throwing itself on Percival Carrington. Nice.
Panel 1:Okay, perhaps the JS wasn't breaking new ground in the role of toxic waste in the comic book world. Instead, it was just plain old "vibrations" and gravity doing the good work.
Panel 2:Wow, that round barrel has some serious sharp edges. It appears to have lopped off the top, left quadrant of Percival's head. Poor guy. Looks like he's going to take up architecture or something right-brained from now on.
Panel 3:I like the total lack of affect in Mark's eyes here. It's like he's saying what he thinks people should say when they see a partial decapitation, but he's pretty much feeling empty on the inside.
August 18, 2009
Panel 1:Let's say you're out hunting. Let's say you're sitting in your deer stand and a deer ambles into your range of fire. Do you a) shout out a warning that you're about to shoot at him, or b) silently take aim and pull the trigger? Just saying.
Panel 2:Let's say you're walking through the woods when an escaped convict with a high-powered rifle takes a shot at you. Let's say you ascend a steep cliff to escape the convict and, when standing on the cliff outlined against a bright blue sky, the convict aims his rifle at you again. Do you a) adopt a heroic pose and shout "DUCK!", or b) drop to the ground and keep the lip of the cliff between you and the convict? Just saying.
Panel 3:It's a fairly standard convention of comics, that the evils of toxic waste act through a third party (see e.g., Chemo or Joker). Today, however, the Jackelrod Sphere smashes that convention and actually has the toxic waste throwing itself on Percival Carrington. Nice.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Clearing the vay-cay backlog.
August 17, 2009
Panel 1:Crazy like a gender-less fox!
Panel 2:Finally, you stupid git. Like I said, just shoot his ass and get out of there. This time, though, take the road.
August 15, 2009
Panel 1:I don't know Mark, let's check the next panel.
Panel 2:He does!
Panel 3:Nice to see Andy has shrunk back to his "normal" size. Also, kudos to the Jackelrod Sphere for not relying on the tired, but family-friendly, "What the hey?" instead opting to allow us to mentally fill-in the "e Fuck?"
August 14, 2009
Panel 1:Oh yes, that's a fine idea. You can jump out and shout "Surprise! while tackling the guy."
Panel 2:Like I said, total douche. Just shoot the asshole and run already.
August 13, 2009
Panel 1:What? You're going to shoot him with a sedative dart?
Panel 2:That, or you've stumbled upon a confused hunter trying to get four and twenty blackbirds for his pie.
Panel 3:Why? How does his mental state impact your likely course of action? Not at all, my androgynous friend, not at all. You're going to hunt his ass down and pummel him regardless of whether he intended to kill, or merely maim.
August 12, 2009
Panel 1:"So I'd better climb high enough that his bullets can't reach me!"
Panel 2:"But wait! What's this? That larch over there has a moustache. Finally! A suspect!"
Panel 3:Okay, I'll admit it, apart from the ridiculous image of Mark clinging to the giant half-dead tree in the background, this is a pretty good picture.
August 11, 2009
Panel 1:Everything I've read so far leads me to believe that I was correct in initially assuming that our friend Percival here is a Brit. I mean, who the fuck uses "blasted" as an adjective if not the Brits?
Panel 2:Or something... Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!!!!!!!
Panel 3:OK. Someone. Someone stupid enough to think that climbing the highest tree in a forest will somehow allow you to see through the canopy below.
August 10, 2009
Panel 1:I'm sure Mark's tiny loafers are well-suited for climbing trees that are dead from the waist up.
Panel 2:It's a shame those tiny loafers aren't armed with tiny machine guns so he can hold off the giant man-eating crows.
August 8, 2009
Panel 1:Why, so you don't have to shoot him again? This may be the single most inane piece of dialogue I've read so far in Mark Trail. And let me tell you, I've read a lot of inane dialogue.
Panel 2:Christ, what a douche.
Panel 3:Holy Fucked-up Perspective, Batman! The Jackelrod Sphere should believe everything it reads on the internet.
Panel 1:Crazy like a gender-less fox!
Panel 2:Finally, you stupid git. Like I said, just shoot his ass and get out of there. This time, though, take the road.
August 15, 2009
Panel 1:I don't know Mark, let's check the next panel.
Panel 2:He does!
Panel 3:Nice to see Andy has shrunk back to his "normal" size. Also, kudos to the Jackelrod Sphere for not relying on the tired, but family-friendly, "What the hey?" instead opting to allow us to mentally fill-in the "e Fuck?"
August 14, 2009
Panel 1:Oh yes, that's a fine idea. You can jump out and shout "Surprise! while tackling the guy."
Panel 2:Like I said, total douche. Just shoot the asshole and run already.
August 13, 2009
Panel 1:What? You're going to shoot him with a sedative dart?
Panel 2:That, or you've stumbled upon a confused hunter trying to get four and twenty blackbirds for his pie.
Panel 3:Why? How does his mental state impact your likely course of action? Not at all, my androgynous friend, not at all. You're going to hunt his ass down and pummel him regardless of whether he intended to kill, or merely maim.
August 12, 2009
Panel 1:"So I'd better climb high enough that his bullets can't reach me!"
Panel 2:"But wait! What's this? That larch over there has a moustache. Finally! A suspect!"
Panel 3:Okay, I'll admit it, apart from the ridiculous image of Mark clinging to the giant half-dead tree in the background, this is a pretty good picture.
August 11, 2009
Panel 1:Everything I've read so far leads me to believe that I was correct in initially assuming that our friend Percival here is a Brit. I mean, who the fuck uses "blasted" as an adjective if not the Brits?
Panel 2:Or something... Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!!!!!!!
Panel 3:OK. Someone. Someone stupid enough to think that climbing the highest tree in a forest will somehow allow you to see through the canopy below.
August 10, 2009
Panel 1:I'm sure Mark's tiny loafers are well-suited for climbing trees that are dead from the waist up.
Panel 2:It's a shame those tiny loafers aren't armed with tiny machine guns so he can hold off the giant man-eating crows.
August 8, 2009
Panel 1:Why, so you don't have to shoot him again? This may be the single most inane piece of dialogue I've read so far in Mark Trail. And let me tell you, I've read a lot of inane dialogue.
Panel 2:Christ, what a douche.
Panel 3:Holy Fucked-up Perspective, Batman! The Jackelrod Sphere should believe everything it reads on the internet.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Maybe he'll find some teeth and hair...
August 7, 2009
Panel 1:Um...Ms. Williams...Do you really think the police aren't involved yet? I can't say for certain, but from my extensive experience (watching E.R. and House) I feel safe saying that hospitals report gun-shot victims to the police and the police usually follow up on such things. Even if The Mullet tells them nothing, Mark Trail is sure to have something to say.
Panel 2:Actually, Joey, if you want to be in full compliance with the law, you can't let them dump the waste at all. They need to bring the waste to a properly permitted storage and handling facility. Dingleberry.
Panel 3:Ah, yes, the classic "going in circles" trope. I wonder if the Jackelrod Sphere knows that "going in circles" is not a literal reference to people wandering in circles? In fact, when people are lost, they're more likely to wander about like Billy in Family Circus.
Panel 1:Um...Ms. Williams...Do you really think the police aren't involved yet? I can't say for certain, but from my extensive experience (watching E.R. and House) I feel safe saying that hospitals report gun-shot victims to the police and the police usually follow up on such things. Even if The Mullet tells them nothing, Mark Trail is sure to have something to say.
Panel 2:Actually, Joey, if you want to be in full compliance with the law, you can't let them dump the waste at all. They need to bring the waste to a properly permitted storage and handling facility. Dingleberry.
Panel 3:Ah, yes, the classic "going in circles" trope. I wonder if the Jackelrod Sphere knows that "going in circles" is not a literal reference to people wandering in circles? In fact, when people are lost, they're more likely to wander about like Billy in Family Circus.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Now that's talent!
August 6, 2009
Panel 1:Dude, they're the mob. They own restaurants. You could have just washed dishes like Pee Wee Herman.
Panel 2:Something has been bugging me about this (and it's not the squirrel that can talk to his own ass). Presumably, WCC had a contract with their previous waste hauler. So what happened to that contract? Did Joey the Mullet just happen to default on his mob debts at the same time that contract reached its term? Or did the Mullet go ahead and break the original contract. If so, how come Ms. Williams didn't find out. You don't just cancel a contract, no harm no foul. There's penalties to be paid for something like that. I'm afraid this just doesn't add up. Unless, of course, the mob is threatening the previous hauler too. Hmm...
Panel 1:Dude, they're the mob. They own restaurants. You could have just washed dishes like Pee Wee Herman.
Panel 2:Something has been bugging me about this (and it's not the squirrel that can talk to his own ass). Presumably, WCC had a contract with their previous waste hauler. So what happened to that contract? Did Joey the Mullet just happen to default on his mob debts at the same time that contract reached its term? Or did the Mullet go ahead and break the original contract. If so, how come Ms. Williams didn't find out. You don't just cancel a contract, no harm no foul. There's penalties to be paid for something like that. I'm afraid this just doesn't add up. Unless, of course, the mob is threatening the previous hauler too. Hmm...
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Scent of a Man.
August 5, 2009
Panel 1:"Our toxic waste has transformed me into a mermaid, and now it's polluting the waters of Lost Forest. Pretty soon, the place will be filled with mer-squirrels, mer-deer and mer-wolves. What are you going to do about it?"
Panel 2:Oh no! I flying mer-sparrow!
Panel 3:Really? Why not? If Joey the Mullet is the only connection to these people and there's no way to identify who shipped and dumped the materials, then killing him would, in fact, be a good strategy. Of course, if he's got a super-secret file detailing his relationship with Percival and his Chinese overlords (or some other fount of information that will survive his death), then maybe Mark is correct.
August 4, 2009,
Panel 1:Yes, indeed, Mark. Whenever I set cars on fire to hide evidence of my recent murder attempt, I tend to hang around and see what happens next. You'll probably find Percival hanging out behind a nearby tree eating a crumpet.
Panel 2:"Mmmm...I can even catch a whiff of his British Sterling."
Panel 3:Um, what's going on in that room behind the doctor? It looks like someone just tossed a grenade through the window into the lap of the convalescing man.
Panel 1:"Our toxic waste has transformed me into a mermaid, and now it's polluting the waters of Lost Forest. Pretty soon, the place will be filled with mer-squirrels, mer-deer and mer-wolves. What are you going to do about it?"
Panel 2:Oh no! I flying mer-sparrow!
Panel 3:Really? Why not? If Joey the Mullet is the only connection to these people and there's no way to identify who shipped and dumped the materials, then killing him would, in fact, be a good strategy. Of course, if he's got a super-secret file detailing his relationship with Percival and his Chinese overlords (or some other fount of information that will survive his death), then maybe Mark is correct.
August 4, 2009,
Panel 1:Yes, indeed, Mark. Whenever I set cars on fire to hide evidence of my recent murder attempt, I tend to hang around and see what happens next. You'll probably find Percival hanging out behind a nearby tree eating a crumpet.
Panel 2:"Mmmm...I can even catch a whiff of his British Sterling."
Panel 3:Um, what's going on in that room behind the doctor? It looks like someone just tossed a grenade through the window into the lap of the convalescing man.
Monday, August 3, 2009
But where's all the black people?
August 3, 2009,
Panel 1:I've said it before, I'll say it again. Mark Trail is a regular Sherlock Fucking Holmes. I mean look at this brilliant leap of logic he just took! Truly, a giant among men...
Panel 2:And in addition to his awe-inspiring intellect, Mark is blessed with a keen sense of smell (even without the patented Trail-o-Schnoz).
Panel 3:"Oh noes! I somehow ended up in Harlem in 1976!"
Panel 1:I've said it before, I'll say it again. Mark Trail is a regular Sherlock Fucking Holmes. I mean look at this brilliant leap of logic he just took! Truly, a giant among men...
Panel 2:And in addition to his awe-inspiring intellect, Mark is blessed with a keen sense of smell (even without the patented Trail-o-Schnoz).
Panel 3:"Oh noes! I somehow ended up in Harlem in 1976!"
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