April 10, 2009
Panel 1: “And I’m going to start this vacation out right, by doing some crunches while drinking red cans of beverage!”
Panel 2: “We’ll outwit them, dadburnit! We’ll stay right here at the scene of the crime. They’ll be out speeding around and hunting for us like Roscoe P. Coltrane on a meth-binge, and we’ll be here savoring our red cans of beverage.”
Panel 3: “Indeed, unlike the hypothetical individuals who could have viewed us in the background of the kid’s pictures and identified us as bank robbers, we can be absolutely certain the hypothetical individuals who see us fishing will be unable to identify us.”
Could Ace Buttockio give us an assist here, please, and let us know what type of duck we’re viewing in this panel?
April 11, 2009
Panel 1:Clearly, Stringy has no idea what it actually means to be rich. People do not get or stay rich by spending money. They get and stay rich by screwing the poor. It would behoove Stringy to get this idea straight in his head before he goes and does something stupid, like blow his wad on eight balls and whores. Far better to stash it in a bank and invest the interest in something respectable like a pay-day lending company.
Panel 2: You know what, I’m going to start referring to T-Neck as Tom Wopat...unless someone can identify a washed-up TV star he more closely resembles.
Panel 3: Is it me, or is the Elf a tad over-outfitted for a quick photographic expedition?
April 13, 2009
Panel 1: You know Elf, leaving the baby hyena at home might make it a little easier to get close to animals that you’re trying to photograph.
Panel 2:You know Elf, if you were in Texas, I’d be kind of afraid for those ducks.
Panel 3:You know Elf, you’re mighty fucking observant.
April 14, 2009
Panel 1: This is one weird-ass picture of the Elf the JS has graced us with today. His head is far enough out of the foliage that we ought to be able to see rest of his jawline and possibly his ear. As it is, it looks like he’s got a giant flesh-colored goiter growing out of the left side of his neck and head. Yech.
Panel 2: “Especially since we’re out of red cans of beverage.”
Panel 3: And thus began the Elf’s transformation into...Bat Boy!
that's an emerald ass duck. it's like an emerald ash borer, but instead of a bug that can decimate entire forests it's a duck that is easily shot because of its bright coloration.
ReplyDeletesnicker
ReplyDeleteAt first I was like "No way is there an all-green duck" but then after I googled "all green duck" I was like, "Way!"
ReplyDeletehttp://www.btinternet.com/~charlesbrook2/bb/cayuga_duck.htm
The only possibility is that the all-green duck from April 14th is a Cayuga duck, a domestic breed of duck that apparently originates in the Lake Cayuga area of New York state. The bill is the wrong color, but hey, the JS ain't no Audobon, this we know. So, a domestic duck somehow hanging with it's wild brethren in the Lost Forest I guess. The other two ducks in that picture - I have no friggin idea other than not a wild North American duck or a known exotic visitor to North America. Maybe some other domesticated breed.
The ducks in the 4/13 panel at least somewhat resemble the recognizable Mallard, or "sky-rat" duck as I like to call them. Yes, this is the future of biodiversity in North America - mallards, cockroaches, starling and oh yeah...Cayuga ducks.
Whoda thunkit? Grassy-Ass for yer insights Ace!
ReplyDeleteTell me, though, doesn't it seem likely that in addition to the roaches, mallards, and Cayugas, starlings may be another element of new national wealth? I only say this because those fuckers are everywhere out here in the East.