December 30, 2008
Panel 1: What’s this? A bad guy without facial hair? This cannot abide! Article IV, Section II, Clause 3 of the Jackelrodian Charter clearly states, and I quote, “Thou shalt adorn the faces of those that commiteth crimes against Man and Nature with hair.” Something is amiss in the Trailosphere.
[UPDATE] I just discovered this fascinating article on the canons of interpreting Mark Trail. Turns out that there are ways to determine whether a character is a bad buy other than looking at their facial hair. Apparently, the mandate quoted above is not absolute.
Panel 2: Rifles? Red-Haired Rustic has a rifle. But Mustachioed Rustic? In Panel 1, he has no rifle in his pathetically shrunken right hand. In Panel 2, he holds nothing with the three claw-like fingers on his hideously deformed left hand. Mark needs to get his contacts checked.
Panel 3: Y’know Mark, Howdy-Doody only weighs about 3 pounds. I bet Sue could carry him out of the swamp. Heck, even Andy could…Wait! Where’s Andy?