Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Wishful thinking, indeed.

December 30, 2009

Panel 1:J.W. Pepper: The Sheriff with the Heart O' Gold!

Panel 2:And if this were the Twilight Zone, that deer would pop out of the woods, and the Sheriff would swerve off onto the beach to avoid hitting it. Thank goodness it's not and he won't.

December 29, 2009

Panel Zero:Boring denouement: Mark saves "a boy," Sheriff recognizes his error, Sheriff makes amends to Mark.

Wishful thinking denouement: Ditto the above. Sheriff gives his gun to Mark, who uses it to blast a hole the size of a buttermilk pancake in the hyena-pig who, if you will recall, was the cause of all this ruckus.

December 28, 2009

Panel 1:Um, total disconnect here. On Saturday, Mark had the jack and it's handle out of the trunk. On Monday, Mark is reaching into the trunk to retrieve the jack and it's handle. This disconnect is only amplified by the fact that Sheriff Pepper is forcefully repeating his command.

Panel 2:So. Fucking. Awesome. Rusty's floating head. I wish I had photoshop. I would start putting this in every panel.

Panel 3:Yes, indeed. While that sand was troublesome before, I'm sure it will have firmed up quite nicely under the flowing tide.

December 26, 2009

Panel 1:Don't worry, Mark. If you wash the car right away, you should avoid any rust problems.

Panel 2:Wow. Kudos to the JS. Mark's face actually matches both his words and the context. I almost feel a twinge at the prospect of Rusty's apparent demise.

Panel 3:Fortunately for my self-respect, we're given this panel in which we're forced to confront the ridiculous notion that the J.W. Pepper is still operating under the misconception that Mark Trail is a citified faggot looking to steal a carjack to sell for an eight-ball and a couple doses of Viagra.

December 25, 2009

Panel 1:Presumably, if a deer leaps out in front of him this time, he'll plow the bastard over.

Panel 2:Step on the gas, then, motherfucker.

Panel 3:Ditto.

December 24, 2009

Panel 1:Judging from the misshapen bulges in J.W. Pepper's pants, I'm thinking the man is wearing a Depends undergarment. And look at that hairline. I wonder how Mark feels about socking a man who is well past the age at which he gets 20% off at Luby's?

Panel 2:The Jackelrod Sphere strives for pathos.

Panel 3:But, with water that is only 3" deep (i.e., knee-deep on the hyena-pig), achieves only bathos.

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