Thursday, November 19, 2009

Eight Days of....Well...Something.

November 19, 2009

Panel 1:If this is the beginning of the denouement to this storyline, I'm prepared to be totally underwhelmed.

Panel 2:Wait! Things are looking up. I detect a note of suspicion in Mark's voice here.

Panel 3:And there it is! The gun-wielding Longburns. Ladies and germs, I sense a beatdown coming on.

November 18, 2009

Panel 1:The Jackelrod Sphere continues its long tradition of recycling art. Today it's using the art from Monday's second panel.

Panel 2:Mark Trail, man of action, bridles the alligator and gallops off in search of retribution!

November 17, 2009

Panel 1:Wow, I wonder what the conversion factor is to determine the decibel equivalent to 36-point font.

Panel 2:Rusty, your play-by-play is getting a little tiresome.

November 16, 2009

Panel 1:Damn, dude. There's an apparently sluggish (He's certainly taking his sweet time to approach the hyena-pig.) reptile the size of a large canoe crawling out of the water and you miss?

Panel 2:Bob is 15 feet from the animals and the alligator is 8 inches from the hyena-pig, what the hell is Bob going to do, dive into the alligator's open maw?

November 14, 2009

Panel 1:It's hard to tell, but it looks like Rusty just grew a soul patch. Maybe he's going to break out the upright bass and bring the cool straight to the swamp.

Panel 2:Um, well, I guess not.

Panel 3:Bravo, Jackelrod Sphere, bravo! This is actually a pretty damn good picture of an alligator getting ready to eat the hyena-pig.

November 13, 2009

Panel 1:Sweetie? What? Is he trying to put the gay back in alligator?

Panel 2:Perhaps Sassy's turd breath will deter the ravenous reptile.

Panel 3:Yeah, shut yer yap!

November 12, 2009

Panel 1:Rusty, I'd check inside the ribbed collar of the giant turtleneck sweater you're sleeping under. She's probably trapped in there.

Panel 2:Fuckin-a, man. It looks like Rusty just woke up for a 3-day bender. Get that boy an 8-ball, there's work to be done!

Panel 3:What?!? Here in the swamp teeming with alligators?

November 11, 2009

Panel 1:I think there's boner in the bathtub joke in here somewhere. I'm just too lazy to find it.

Panel 2:That's right Longburns, treat the pooch as an inanimate object and you won't feel even the slightest twinge of regret when a gator finally gets him.

November 10, 2009

Panel 1:Wow. Bob finally realizes that he's nothing a but a pawn in a senseless game beyond his control and, here, in what may become one of the foundational statements of The New Atheism, rebels against his cruel and uncaring god. Next thing you know he's going to go on a speaking tour with Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins. That should be fun.

Panel 2:Cue the dueling banjos.

Panel 3:Poor Bob, first he becomes an atheist, then he's sodomized by a couple of hillbillies. What could possibly happen next?


  1. November 11, 2009
    "I think there's boner in the bathtub joke in here somewhere. I'm just too lazy to find it."

    I've heard of guys too lazy to find a clit, but too lazy to find your boner? THAT'S lazy!

  2. November 13, 2009
    "The frightened little dog barks frantically as a big monster heads towards her"

    This sounds really familiar...hmmm....oh yeah, this is how I narrate my sex play with Cherry Merkin. Then I find my boner in the bathtub and it's Goodnight Sassy!

  3. [snort]

    You're on a fucking roll, Ace! I especially like the idea of narrating my own sex play as a third-party omniscient.

  4. November 18, 2009
    "bridle the alligator"

    This sounds really familiar...hmmm...oh yeah...well you get the point.

  5. I may have to start ensuring that every panel's commentary includes a double entendre.