November 9, 2009
Panel 1:This is irrefutable proof that we live in a cold, cruel and unfeeling universe that knows nothing and cares nothing for humans and their petty, insignificant problems. If we didn't, that'd be Rusty tied to the stake.
Panel 2:Well, Sassy, it goes like this. Unlike our universe, which is governed by natural laws which, while amoral, are also blind, you live in the Trailosphere. There, laws are malleable and justice is a joke. Your cruel and heartless overlord (I call him the Jackelrod Sphere) twists and tortures you to suit his passing whims and fleeting needs. In this case, his fleeting need appears to be a lack of a compelling plot point that could explain why Mark is wandering around in a swamp at night looking for malfeasors to punch. So, my porcine little hyena-type-thing, you're being treated like this because Rusty needs to wake up, miss you, and send Mark out to find you, whereupon he can stumble upon the poachers and pound them senseless. Sucks for you, eh?
Panel 3:Relax, Bob. In this instance, the safety of the hyena-pig is protected by the ineffable force of the profit motive. Sassy will be fine as long as Longburns is conscious and believes a quick buck is within his grasp.
November 7, 2009
Panel 1:WTF? Did Mr. Longburns go and join PETA or something? What's up with the soft-heartedness?
Panel 2:Phew! Just maximizing resources, that's all. Good old Longburns; always watching his bottom-line.