That's how he rolls.

February 9, 2009


Panel 1: It's pretty obvious in Saturday's panel 2 that Ken the Kung-Fu Master is as good a marksman as he is a kung-fu master. The line denoting his Chikn-Shock bullet's path goes straight from his barrel, through Buck's antlers and off into the gloaming. So, when we see Buck lying on his side in the grass, we're forced to wonder, "What happened?" I'm not sure, but I have a couple of hypotheses.

First, it's possible that Buck is a narcoleptic and merely fell asleep after the excitement of trying to catch some flying chicken beaks. Second, Buck may be an amateur entomologist and he thinks he just saw an errant Oligomyrmex and he's getting a closer look. The discovery of this species of ant in the western United States would, of course, revolutionize modern entomology, and Buck has always wanted his 15 minutes of fame. Finally, and perhaps most reasonably, it's possible that Buck has tripped and the Jackelrod Sphere is merely using his moment of ignominy as a foreground for the Kung-Fu Master's bit of dialog (which would be vastly improved if it said, "Sayonara motherfucker" and left it at that).

Panel 2: Damn dude, that's harsh. Shoot your wife's lover and then split. That Ken is a hard ass.

Panel 3: Wow, look at Patty Frampton's face. Can anyone say "Burning Bed"? Good thing the mothership is lingering in the background, ready to whisk Ken away for a couple of days while Patty cools down.

Eyes, what eyes?

February 7, 2009


Panel 1: Apparently, Ken the Kung-Fu Master has loaded his high-powered rifle with a relatively unknown ammunition that consists entirely of chicken beaks. Unfortunately, chicken beaks aren't terribly aerodynamic and seem to be discharging in every direction but forward.

Panel 2: Buck, here's a tip. When someone is shooting at you (even if they're using Chikn-Shock loads), you probably shouldn't try to jump up and catch the bullet with your head. On a slightly different note, we finally have evidence of what Patty Frampton sees in Buck or, more accurately, what Patty Frampton sees on buck. Check out the unit on that guy.

Panel 3: Holy Fuck, it's Doctor Manhattan! That could explain the "Push" phenomenon Ace Buttockio pointed out on Friday.

Overkill

February 6, 2009


Panel 1: Again, I'm forced to wonder what the fuck Ken the Kung-Fu Master was thinking when he chose the gun to "take care of" Buck. Here he is, 20 feet from a tame deer and he's going to take him out with a high-powered rifle? He runs a serious risk of shooting right through the damn deer. A shotgun is so much better for this type of shooting. I suppose he could be out of buckshot or slugs, but I doubt it. I think he's just an idiot.

Panel 2: He's also slower than molasses on a cold day. In the time it takes Patty Frampton to run 50 feet, the Kung-Fu Master manages to raise the rifle approximately 6 inches. Of course, part of the problem may be that he's trying to hear what Patty Frampton is saying. It's kind of difficult to make things out when somewhat is alternating between whispering and shouting like that. And, as further proof that fractal math underlies much of the natural word, we see that the hardwood silhouetted by the Kung-Fu Master's hip is using the same basic axiom as Patty Frampton's hairdresser.

Panel 3: I'm stunned. Ken the Kung-Fu Master has landed a blow! Buck should take this opportunity to flee. I'm quite certain the Kung-Fu Master will now engage in his bitter, graceless version of the adolescent end-zone dance one typically sees performed by NFL halfbacks in their moment of victory.

Gun control is gagging your damn mouthy shotguns.

February 5, 2009


Panel 1: "Except, you know, ride me like Evel Knievel on his rocket-bike."

Panel 2: I like how the two shotguns are having a conversation about taking caring of Buck. Of course, the shotgun on the left is hopelessly optimistic about his chances of shooting the deer, because it turns out our Kung-Fu Master prefers to use high-powered rifles at close-quarters target practice. Tsk-tsk. Note, too, the Jackelrod Sphere's ongoing use of pointless bolding. Or, I suppose in this case, some pointless non-bolding. Why is the shotgun on the right whispering "you" and shouting the rest of the sentence?

Panel 3: I think we finally have a clue about why Patty Frampton is so "attached" to Buck. Judging from the three-digit claw she's displaying in this panel, Patty is actually some sort of swamp creature who is trying to lure Buck back to her charnel lair. Why she doesn't just take Ken is beyond me. Possibly, he's just to bland and bitter.

1950s erotica!

February 4, 2009


Panel 1: Christ, this guy is dense. Patty Frampton obviously has no interest in men, per se, and is clearly far more dedicated to maintaining fraternal relationships with other species, if not genera. Also, I think it's interesting that he includes the modifier "when I'm not home" in reference to her putative "fooling around with Trail." The implication, at least for this lawyer, is that our Kung-Fu Master may be alright with Patty Frampton fooling around with Trail when he is home. This comic just gets nastier.

Panel 2:"Uh-huh," thought Ken, "a story. In what? Stag Magazine?

Panel 3: Mmmmm...venison. Ken better watch his ass, though. If he can get pwned by a plastic half-man, then even some limpid-eyed buck with a penchant for white tails can probably evade his clumsy attempts at kung-fu.

9/8th scale chin

February 3, 2009


Panel 1: "Nor does it involve my horse-shaped tumor!"

Panel 2: Actually Ken, Mark is welcome here, but only by 50% of the people who live in this loathsome den of iniquity. Unless you reside in a common property state (which is possible, I suppose, given the western nature of the landscape), Patty Frampton has the legal right to invite Mark onto your jointly-held land. And since Mark has ably shown that he can whup your kung-fu ass, I'm thinking that your "order" doesn't carry much weight.

Panel 3: Good Lord! What happened to the lower half of Mark's face? Seriously. From the eyes up, he looks normal. Below the eyes, it looks like Mark's chin is slowly being sucked into a black hole or something. Ugh. It's kind of freaking me out.

Paternity leave catch-up

A brief note to all four people who read this blog: I'm going to be on paternity leave for the month of February. While I plan on posting every day, if my son doesn't nap as regularly as I hope, there may be the occasional delay. If that happens, I'll do a catch-up post like this one.

January 31, 2009


Panel 1: Mark is so busy having a conversation with his shoulder about how to use his camera, he's unaware that Ken the Kung-fu Master is walking up behind him preparing to open a can of his patented whoop-ass on our androgynous heroine. That is, of course, because Mark has nothing to be afraid of and his conscience is clear. Note, on the other hand, how nervous Buck has become.

Panel 2: Buck, you fucking coward, stop hiding behind Mark and Patty Frampton. Be a deer! Step up and defend your woman!

Panel 3: What's up with Patty Frampton's eyes? And why is Ken the Kung-Fu Master suddenly adopting the Stephen Colbert approach to silent editorializing?

February 2, 2009


Panel 1: Man, Ken the Kung-Fu Master couldn't land a punch if his life depended on it. Perhaps he should stop trying to carry on conversations and focus on hitting people. Also, if you're a regular reader of Mark Trail (which I obviously am), this panel my seem familiar. I did a little checking and we last saw it in slightly smaller format on November 14, 2008.


Nice job Jackelrod Sphere!

Panel 2: Which fist is exploding?

Panel 3: This panel would have been vastly improved if Mark Trail had said, "Simmer down, now!" On the other hand, it does pretty neatly cap three panels of coherent action. I know the JS recycled the first panel, but I like how he has Mark grab the Kung-Fu Master's wrist and jerk it behind his back. You can almost see sequence. I'll give the Jackelrod Sphere a non-snarky nice job for this one.