Duck. Goose. Whatever.

Panel 1:Oh-ho-ho, it's all becoming clear now. Mullet Man here had no choice but to change companies. Ladies and germs, when you think coercion and waste hauling, what comes to mind? La Cosa Nostra! And what else does La Cosa Nostra do? They run gambling rackets. So, let me make a little prediction here: Joey the Mullet (his Mafia name) ran up a big gambling debt. He couldn't pay up. His local crime boss made him an offer he couldn't refuse (i.e., "Use my hauling services or I'll break your knees."). Joey the Mullet switched waste transporters. Voile!

I am excited, of course, because if I'm right, we might finally get to see some of that patented Mark Trail fistin...er...fist-fighting. The last couple of story arcs have been disappointing for their notable lack of pugilism. Maybe that's about to change.

Panel 2:[Cue ill-conceived AFLAC joke.]

Panel 3:"Ummm... because you would have said no and Vinnie of the Mountains would have broken my knees."

Number one, or number two? You decide.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Panel 1:Joey's hair is just so awesome. It's my professional opinion that in the pantheon of wicked bad hair (and I use that totally ironically), he has only one competitor for the number one slot.

Panel 2:In focusing on Joey's hair in the last panel, I neglected to mention that Ms. Williams is apparently a huge fan of blind leaps of illogic. According to her, since Joey said he did not know about the dumping at Lost Forest but did change their waste transporter, he must be lying. Huh? Call me crazy, but changing one's waste transporter is hardly irrefutable proof that a person is an illegal polluter. On the other hand, she could have said, "Joey, you told me that you didn't know about any dumping. And now I learn that you have a heavily-permed mullet." Had she said that, then I think she would have the irrefutable proof she's looking for.

Panel 3:Po, sad widdle Joey.

Friday, June 27, 2009

Panel 1:Check out the fucked up flipper on Ms. Williams. I'd make a tasteless Thalidomide joke, but this really evokes the post-apocalyptic evolution of Vonnegut's Galapagos rather than the more mundane mid-20th century industrial birth defect.

Panel 2:Blue back, spotted belly. What the fuck bird is that? Ace? Also, it's clear that our flipperized hostess here has no idea that she's dealing with a androgyne completely unsusceptible to emotional manipulation. He's either on (i.e., providing a beatdown) or off (i.e., affectlessly investigating environmental crimes). A dinner invite will NOT butter our hero up.

We need a better class of overlord.

June 26, 2009

Panel 1:Yeah, like that last one used to like, you know, follow the law.

Panel 2:Man, check out that factory. It's like a vision from 1875. Wooden water tower, grain silos, the works! You have to wonder why the Jackelrod Sphere, in all its omnipotence, can't draw a fucking non-dated picture. Cars from the 1970s, phones from the 1960s, decor from an entirely different dimension, and factories from the pre-Progressive Era. Just once, I'd like to see Mark Trail appear in a scene that my grandfather wouldn't find familiar.

Panel 3:And speaking of the fallibility of the Jackelrod Sphere, what kind of half-ass deity uses the same panel twice in three days?

What's another word for gigantic marsupial?

June 25, 2009

Panel 1:"Yes, Joey. I have learned that his name, Joey, is another word for a baby kangaroo. I have thus concluded that your brother is a kangaroo, and I desperately want to see his pocket. Bring him to me."

Panel 2:Oooh, feigning innocence. The plot thickens.

Panel 3:Again with the desperate twelve-year old schtick. Totally unbecoming of a androgyne of his stature. Also, what's up with Ms. Williams upper lip?

Wanna, like, hold hands and stuff?

June 24, 2009

Panel 1:In a failed effort to ensure that dialog balloons appear in chronological order(no doubt founded on the notion that its readership is pig-fucking-ignorant and unable to discern chronology from context), the Jackelrod Sphere has given us what appears to be a conversation between the door jamb and the door casing. As it turns out, even these bits of inanimate millwork use inappriate bolding in their speech. Real humans would probably put the emphasis on "he", not "what" in that second balloon.

Panel 2:Mark appears to be attempting some witty repartee here. As one would expect, it fails and he comes across like a semi-literate 12-year old.

Panel 3:And here, he looks just a tad too eager to tell Ms. Williams what he found. I'm beginning to think that these are Mark's feeble attempts at leveraging his knowledge into a little kissy-kissy wiht Ms. Williams. While this runs contrary to everything we know about him and his androgynous life, how else can we explain Mark's child-like demeanor?

She didn't not say that she wasn't involved.

June 23, 2009

Panel 1:As an attorney, I find Mark's choice of words here a bit odd. Ms. Williams "didn't admit knowing anything"? That's wrong. She actually "denied knowing anything" and that, my androgynous friend, is a significant distinction. Had Ms. Williams could have remained mute, talked about the weather, or recited the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner and, in each case, she would have been not admitting that she knew anything. However, Ms. Williams did none of those things. Instead, she took the pro-active, affirmative step of explicitly saying that she knew nothing of the dumping. This can only mean one of two things. Either she really doesn't know about the dumping, or she does and she's actively engaged in hiding it. There is no middle ground, so I have to wonder why Mark is pussyfooting around that fact.

Panel 2:Steelhead?

Panel 3:Wow, that's some serious insecurity. It's also an inredibly long right arm. Or, perhaps Howdy-Doody decided to join in for a group hug. Either way, it's just not natural!

The JS needs to take a Mulligan.

June 22, 2009

Panel 1:"He did mumble something about private property...maybe that helps?"

Panel 2:I would like to point out that in Saturday's panel 2 and panel 3 and today's panel 1, Mr. Transporter Guy is sporting a natty blue shirt and striped tie. In this panel, he has donned a blue jacket over a white shirt. Continuity error, or should he and Mark be smoking cigarettes now?

Panel 3:I have nothing to say about this panel...really...nothing.

June 20, 2009

Panel 1:"My...um...Spidey Sense...is um...telling me to look there."

Panel 2:It's a miracle!

Panel 3:Mm. Let me guess. He thought the old man wasn't making as much money as he should have, and decided to find a way to boost their profits. Not quite the chip off the old block that Old Man Williams had wished for, I'm sure. Needless to say, I think my prediction about the equivalency of mullets and moustaches will be borne out.