Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Lost Forest of the Dead!

Earth Day 2009

Panel 1: You know what you're going to do Stringy? You're going to run like hell, 'cuz Zombie Elf is coming after you and he wants more brains.

Panel 2: No, that would be stupid. Instead, you should tie him up to the fantastic flock of the rare Inverse Mallard* and let them fly away with him.

Panel 3: Every time I read this panel (and I've read it at least six times), I keep seeing a "him" between "pack" and "up." I don't know if it's because the dialog works better that way or because the him in the second line is close. Nonetheless, I like the idea of stuffing the Elf into a suitcase and driving away with him in the trunk.

*Or, possibly, some sort of Mallard-Cayuga hybrid or some other variety of manky mallard.


  1. i had to read the last panel over too. it just sounds better to say, "pack him up". i don't know why.

  2. Panel 2 nicely and succinctly illustrates everything I hate about Earth Day. (Even the name "Earth Day" makes me want to strangle a schnauzer - what are the rest of the 364 days, "Fuck off and pollute days"? Well yes, obviously.) The stupid greenwashing of everything, including in this case, wildlife. "Let's make the ducks all green, that's a nice message for the kids!" Yeah, let's celebrate the natural world with a fucked up drawing of a fucked up duck with fucked up genes bred by fucked up assholes with their fucked up bags of bread crumbs at some fucked up, dirty, needle and condom strewn park. I hope all those ducks get "bread wing" and other fucked up deformities and die in the Lost Forest en masse, causing an outbreak of avian flu which decimates half of North America, starting with Jack Elrod, his family and friends and moving quickly over to Matt Lauer, Meredith Viagra and the rest of the crew at the Today show with their stupid, fucked up "green" news graphics package.