Please, Ken, Grow a Moustache

February 26, 2009


Panel 1: Look at those crazy, googly eyes. You know Patty Frampton has gone totally batshit insane. Mark would be well-served by running away as fast as he can, as far as he can. No good will come of this. On a totally un-related note, I wonder who her cell provider is. She certainly seems to have good coverage.

Panel 2: How long has Patty Frampton been wandering in the woods? Time runs slower in the Trailiverse than it does here, but how much slower? On February 8-10, we saw Ken the Kung-Fu Master and Crack Marksman take a shot at Buck and then grab his valise and head out on a business trip for a few days. The intervening strips have led me to believe that about two Trail days have passed: Patty Frampton spent the night with the Trails (or at least with Cherry), Mark and Patty went searching on horseback, the Trails and Howdy-Doody spent an evening roasting mudfish on the fire, Mark visited Mr. HSD. Yet today, here's Ken back early from his meeting. WTF does that mean?

I suppose it doesn't matter. I think the Jackelrod Sphere is signaling that Ken expects Patty Frampton to be home doing something wifely (as defined by 1950s social norms, at least) and she's not. Given Ken's history of anger and violence, this does not bode well.

Panel 3: Hmmmm...Ken isn't frowning. I may have to revise my theory. I had envisioned an exciting denouement where Ken goes out searching for Patty, finds her and Mark wrestling the two ungulates out of their passionate horn-lock antler-lock, concludes this is some further execrable perversion on Patty's part, starts attacking our hero and the hapless Patty, and is treated to a couple rounds with the Right Fist O' Justice and Left Foot O' Retribution. As it is, the lack of a frown suggests a shift away from the role of the "bad man." This means that Ken is probably going to be worried about Patty, will call Mark for help in finding her, will work with Mark to set the two ungulates free, and will be treated in turn to a long lecture on the ills of spousal abuse and the keeping of wild animals as pets. If that is indeed what happens, this will subsequently become a Luann blog as suggested by Ace Buttockio a couple of weeks ago.