January 26, 2009
Panel 1: Alternate Text: “Patty, I’m looking for my albino pet squirrel, Jorge. Have you seen him? Oh, here he is. Jorge! You naughty boy, stop gnawing on Buck’s antlers, Patty might get jealous!”
Panel 2: Mark strives to talk like a real human, even using the contraction “I’m” in a sentence. Despite his best efforts, he still sounds like poorly-programmed cyborg.
Panel 3: That’s great Mark. What if we take animals out of fields? How about lakes? The city dump? Your ethical guidelines aren’t going to be very helpful if you make them so location-specific. And what if we don’t use those animals as pets? Suppose I take a chipmunk out of the woods and train him as an assassin? Would that be ethical, or would I still run afoul of your prohibition? Also, I don’t know why Patty Frampton looks so sad. Perhaps she’s still trying to maintain the façade that Buck is a “pet.”