January 22, 2009
Panel 1: Gosh, I had totally forgotten that Mr. Frowny-Face was named after another overtly androgynous fictional person. But our Ken, whom I shall continue to refer to as Mr. Frowny-Face, is clearly not quite as androgynous as his namesake. That’s good, because I’m not sure how I would feel about a smackdown between vaguely asexual half-men with tiny feet and hands.
Panel 2: How about a smaller animal? A badger, maybe? No. Perhaps a fish? Just a tiny one. Like a beta. No fish either. Damn. Okay, motherfucker, fine. You can’t keep me down. I defy you to find my colony of pet Tardigrades. Oh, and I definitely saw some fruit flies in the kitchen this morning.
Panel 3: What was that I was saying about tiny hands? Good lord, Ken the Kung-Fu Master’s right hand must be 12 inches long. And why is he fanning the lovely Patty Frampton?* Perhaps he saw one of those pesky Drosophila melanogasters flying around.
* Please note that I am not making fun of domestic violence, but of the Jackelrod Sphere's lame-ass depiction of that violence. This is like comic-strip kōan: If Ken the Kung-Fu Master slaps his wife and we're all here to witness it, shouldn't there be a slap sound? Or at least the word "SLAP!" or "POW!" or "BIFF!" or something? As it is, we're treated to the image of Patty Frampton apparently talking through a serious kung-fu whiff. I know, I'm supposed to be outraged at Ken the Kung-Fu Master's harsh treatment of his pretty blond wife, but c'mon. If a comic strip is going to deal with serious subjects, it needs to at least try and do so seriously. (Sez the snide blogger.)