Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Post-Inaugural Round-up

January 19, 2009

Panel 1: You’d better watch it Cherry, Patty Frampton might get a little jealous of the way you’re staring deep into Buck’s limpid eyes.

Panel 2: Buck! Buck! Don’t forget your tie! It’s draped over the bureau. On a side note, can anyone identify what the fuck kind of deer this is? Clearly it’s not a whitetail or a muley. Perhaps some sort of mono-toned African breed?

Panel 3: Look at Mark’s grimace. You can already feel the righteous anger starting to burn. I suspect it’s only a matter of time before the punching commences.

January 20, 2009

Panel 1: Mark, you make a terrible liar. Was it really good seeing them both? No one here likes Mr. Frowny-Face, least of all you. So I doubt it was “good” in any standard sense of the word. Perhaps there’s subtext, eh?

Subtext: “It was good seeing you both! Now I know what Oedipal bestiality looks like. Perhaps I’ll write an article about it for my magazine. And you, Mr. Frowny-Face, it was good seeing you without my Left Foot O’ Retribution broken off in your ass.

Panel 2: Oh Cheh-wy, does that make you veh-wy sad? Might explain the blue jacket!

Panel 3: Mr. Frowny-Face, Pet Detective leaps to his work, finding an empty cereal bowl on the ground and immediately concluding that his wife is fucking that goddam deer again.

Panel 4: And with this penultimate panel, we find out why Mr. Frowny-Face is so angry: that cad Buck gave lovely Patty Frampton Hepatitis C and yellow eyes. Nice job, Buck!

January 21, 2009

Panel 1: AUGH! The fingers! They’re so long and freakish! It’s like they snuck out of Milford to come terrorize Lost Forest. And I’ve identified another reason Mr. Frowny-Face is so angry: Patty Frampton keeps framed photographs of her ex-lovers (like Sasquatch!), over the mantelpiece.

Panel 2: Is that how come we’ve never seen a live Sasquatch? Mr. Frowny-Face killed him and ate him, too?

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