Lacking only hot syrup

January 13, 2009


Panel 1: Witness the single oddest bit of dialogue I’ve yet to read in the comics. Patty Frampton issues an inclusive declarative statement: “We’ll [i.e., you, Cherry, and I, Patty Frampton, will] get together later...” Formulated that way, it’s a little odd. I mean, I distinctly recall my mother telling me at age 9, that “We’ll talk to your father when he gets home.” And let me tell you, I was not looking forward to and, given the choice, would not have voluntarily participated in, that conversation. Clearly, there’s an element of command when one says "We will do something." Yet, even with that choice of phrasing, what Patty says is not entirely out of the ordinary realm of conversation. But Cherry?

Her response, “Please do, Patty…” Please do what? The implication is, “Please do [get together with me later], Patty.” But stated that way, and in response to Patty’s “We’ll get together”, it comes off exceedingly weirdly. As far as I can tell, Cherry’s choice of language can be intended to do one of two things. Either Cherry is signaling her gross disinterest in Patty’s gerbil problem:

“Please do get together with me later, Patty. I’ll be out getting a couple of Thickburgers from Hardees, and I think Mark and I are out of paper napkins, so I’ll have to stop at the Bi-Lo, but I’m sure you’ll have a productive get-together. Here, you can talk to this Hummel playing sad songs on his violin.”

or her utter lack of individual agency:

“Please do get together with me later, Patty. By then, Mark’s icy androgyny and callous disregard for our marriage will have driven me into the final stages of a catatonic fugue. I’m sure my paralyzed, unresponsive body will be the perfect foil for the calm deliberation you will need to engage in to figure out a solution to your problem.”

Like I said, weird.

Panel 2: Ah, perfect marital bliss. Silent mannequin bringing platefuls of unidentifiable brown lumps. Comely wife with a smokin’ right part serving coffee and discussing the sexual peccadillos of Peter Frampton’s long-lost twin sister. Mark staring grimly out the window wondering when someone is going to grow a moustache so he can punch them.

Panel 3: And in the denouement of today’s exciting triptych, Cherry’s part reveals that it knows as little about Patty Frampton’s troubles as the rest of us.